Date: Wed 16 Jul, 2003 at 01:54
Headline: Home Alone
"It's dark in the house and I'm cold and lonesome and there's no one to hear my various witty remarks."
-Homer Simpson, The Simpsons: The Cartridge Family
Greetings & Salutations!
So...here I be.
My wife and I are fairly comfortable being apart for big chunks of time. She used to go out on service project jaunts in Europe for weeks on end. Yeah, I'd miss her, but we're both grown adults and life goes on. Besides, I had a day job in addition to the music thing to keep me occupied. Now our daughter has become my day job. I have not been away from her for more than 48 hours at a time, and when I have it's been for weekend gigs -- so again, keeping busy.
But what's happening right now is this: my wife has been working on a degree out-of-state this summer, and therefore been gone for 3-4 days every week, leaving my daughter and I alone together. Pretty cool, I'm used to it, even though being the only adult in her life 24/7 can be a little...all-consuming, especially with no car. This week, however, she has taken the girl with her to school, as she has found a suitable pre-school/day care. We thought it might be a good test run for when pre-school actually begins this Fall, it would give me a little break from stay-at-home-dad-ville, plus -- and this, really, is the important thing -- it would relieve my wife's frustration at not being able to see her daughter for half a week at a time. So far, from all accounts, they seem to be having the time of their lives this week.
But I'm just a little bit tweaked.
Yesterday was Ok, because I had many things to do: clean the living hell out of the house, go to band practice, and so on. I have tried to prepare for the situation as best I could -- found myself little computer projects to tackle, practiced songs for upcoming gigs, and borrowed a hefty stack of DVDs from my cousin -- but after today I'm feeling at a loose end. Too much sitting around, too much snacking. Not enough motivation to do much, including sleep. A little band business here and there, but not nearly enough of a grind to keep me thoroughly occupied. Honestly, I'll be happy to see my family again soon not just because I miss them personally, but because it will be great to get my life back to normal for a little while at least.
I can hear people I know right now -- guys, mostly -- dubbing me batshit insane for not absolutely basking in the glow of this little "vacation" and loving every second of it. And maybe they've got a point, I dunno. Having the 24/7 responsibility buzz at the back of my brain go away for a while has been a nice, if sort of alien, feeling, but I think that if this ends up eing a full-time thing next year and I have to spend the entire summer alone...well, unless I can get the band out on the road for a while or get to work on some equally productive and focus-draining endeavor, there might be a fatal sugar/aimlessness induced coma waiting in my future.
Lots of cool band stuff coming up that I should talk about, but right now I'm gonna try and force myself to sleep and see if I am any more successful than last night. Or perhaps I'll go watch the Insomnia DVD in a fit of semi-ironic behavior...